last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
