So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We're too hungover to prance.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
