ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
