I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You made out with two different species that night
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
