I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
