Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
