So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
