bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
