im so drunk with asians
where?
always
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
