we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
