I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
barbara walters just said penis...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
