NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
