i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize