I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
