just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
