As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
