i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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