I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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