Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
