Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
