I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
