Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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