I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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