Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
