there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
