It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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