it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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