is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
