My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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