Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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