can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
