Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
