Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
