I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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