Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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