Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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