I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i think i just lost a toe
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
