dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
