He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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