Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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