An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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