She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
