Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You're like the curious george of whores
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
