ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
