I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
