but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
