a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
