Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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