i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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