Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My feet surprised me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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