i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
