yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
