idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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