I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
