He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
