Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
