I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
