it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Even my vagina gasped.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My penis needs a shock collar
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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