I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
