i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to sanitize my soul.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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