Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
