guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
