I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize