I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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